Go Blake!
I hate cars…

I think its the fact that they can only get worse. You never hear of brakes regenerating or tires gaining tread… hoses sealing up their cracks, shocks fixing themselves or an oil leak magically disappearing. Whatever condition your car is in, unless you spend money on it, is only going to get worse.

This isn’t true with all machines… my computer fixes itself all the time. On numerous occasions I have had problems with on thing or another, say the internet stops working. I can turn it off, come back to it the next day, and behold, the internet magically works again. This is never the case with a car.

The longer I drive it, the worse its going to get, and the more money its going to cost me to get fixed. Then it will brake, and Ill have to get a new one, which costs even more money… Its like an ailment that is never going to go away.

Stories

Have you ever had something happen to you that seems unlikely, interesting or significant, but when you tell someone else they clearly aren’t interested in your story, BUT you know if the same thing happened to them and not you then they would be telling you the story with enthusiasm and you would be uninterested?  Or is it just me?

Whats new?

I hate when people ask me this.  The answer is nothing.  It has been for quite some time now.

Thanks Meghan

I wanted to show some fan appreciation today, but I think Meghan is the only person who reads this, so… thanks Meghan!

Chronicles of a Lazy Kid

Inspired by my moments of self realization amidst acts of extreme personal laziness.

I have two doors to my room.  I have decided its too troublesome to close both of them when I need to change.  I just close one of them and hide in the corner.

Lazy man’s secret weapon: 2 jobs.

I am very lazy… Very very lazy.  To get an idea, I once decided that the act of putting a sandwich together seemed so daunting that I was better off putting 3 slices of meet, some lettuce, a whole tomato and 2 slices of bread into a bowl and eating it with my hands.  It was awful.

Now as a self proclaimed and season lazy man I recently discovered a tool that most would think of as counter intuitive to go on a lazy belt.  I am now working 2 jobs, and this week I’m clocking about 60 hours.  Is it terrible?  Sort of.  Am I tired?  Absolutely.  So what the shit am I talking about then, how is this for the lazy?  Well, here’s the kicker- When I’m not working I have absolutely zero guilt or accountability when it comes to not getting things done!

My rooms a mess?  I’m too tired after working 2 jobs!  Lying in bed all day?  I need my rest to have the energy to work 2 jobs!  I haven’t called you in a while?  I don’t have time cause I work 2 jobs!  No groceries?  I don’t need to get them cause I’m never home, I work 2 jobs!  Haven’t showered?  What’s the point, I’m just at work all the time, 2 Jobs!  No ending to my blog?  I think you get the pi

This is happening right now.

Everyone loves to hear about my cats.

One thing that I have learned for certainty in my last 6 months of cat ownership is this:  Everyone loves to hear stories about my cats.  Why wouldn’t they?  After all they are cuter than a baby dressed in grown up clothes eating ice cream while riding a mini toy rocket ship being dragged by a polar bear cub.  The big one even sleeps in the sink!  I know what your thinking- Awww… that’s so cute and quirky!

Yes I often wonder what good deeds I did in my past lives to be fortunate enough to care for such an adorable pair of creatures.  The only conclusion that I’ve come to is that, granted my good fortune, I must share my blessing with others!  Endless tales spew forth from my mouth of the strange and unique behaviors of my kittens, such as their ability to do back flips, how much they like to lick my nose, and the size of their tails!  I love talking about them so much, so I can only conclude that everyone else loves listening.

But don’t be fooled into thinking I care to listen about you and your cats, or even your dogs.  No, my cats are so amazing you see, tales of yours just can’t compare.  For example, my first cat is only 7 months old, and weighs over 10 pounds!  As I’m sure that everyone is familiar with the average weight range of all ages of cats I don’t even think I need to tell you how huge that is.  As far as my second cat goes, I’ll just say one thing… It has a goatee.  Does your cat have a goatee?  No, you don’t have to answer that.  I know it doesn’t.  And beside, you should remember that I don’t care to listen to you talk about your cat.

Well, it looks like its time for me to go, right now my cats are busy picking up quarters in their mouths, dropping them into the palm of their paws and trying to walk around with them, and yes, that is amazing.  I suppose I should be taking notes on it for my future stories.